Thursday, March 19, 2009
depression~
seriously think i'm gonna suffer depression soon. i'm going crazy soon, at least. tats i'm for sure. i really seems all fine and happy on e surface. but deep inside, i'm really really breaking down.
he knows wat happen to me and andra, i think. now the r/s seems even harder to save. i broke his heart badly. he used to trust me so much yet i ... i've betray his trust. and i really felt so guilty abt it.
I'M REALLY SORRY! dats to my dearest baby.
anyway he seems happy without me. i dunno if he's putting up a mask or wat. but its all my fault dat things turn dis way. i didnt noe he's so important to me, i took him for granted. i'm really regretting for all e sins i've done.
* i'll give up anything just to have him back by my side.
he doeant have to trust me , or love me like before. he can show me attitudes, not meet me everyday. anything, he can treat me real mean, but i really don mind. i swear! i just wanna treat him double the way he used to dote on me in e past. as to repay my sins and shows my love for him.
he msg hazel asking her to go lookers find him and accompany him to a songka. and hazel even have e cheek to ask me if i think he's serious or wat. even thought, i noe dat he wont be tgt with any same company staff, but it just makes me feel weird. may be jealous, or angry, i really dunnoe, just weird. it matters to me alot. but i really cant say or do much. may be its my retribution. cos of joanna case. they actually mistaken me as the third party, when he had another gf after joanna den me. i've lost joan dis nice fren for him. now, i've lost both. and he actually deleted all my photos from his frenster acct.think dis time really e end for us ler. hais.
Loving someone is so hard, keeping it a secret is even harder.
seriously think i'm gonna suffer depression soon. i'm going crazy soon, at least. tats i'm for sure. i really seems all fine and happy on e surface. but deep inside, i'm really really breaking down.
he knows wat happen to me and andra, i think. now the r/s seems even harder to save. i broke his heart badly. he used to trust me so much yet i ... i've betray his trust. and i really felt so guilty abt it.
I'M REALLY SORRY! dats to my dearest baby.
* i'll give up anything just to have him back by my side.
he doeant have to trust me , or love me like before. he can show me attitudes, not meet me everyday. anything, he can treat me real mean, but i really don mind. i swear! i just wanna treat him double the way he used to dote on me in e past. as to repay my sins and shows my love for him.
he msg hazel asking her to go lookers find him and accompany him to a songka. and hazel even have e cheek to ask me if i think he's serious or wat. even thought, i noe dat he wont be tgt with any same company staff, but it just makes me feel weird. may be jealous, or angry, i really dunnoe, just weird. it matters to me alot. but i really cant say or do much. may be its my retribution. cos of joanna case. they actually mistaken me as the third party, when he had another gf after joanna den me. i've lost joan dis nice fren for him. now, i've lost both. and he actually deleted all my photos from his frenster acct.think dis time really e end for us ler. hais.
Loving someone is so hard, keeping it a secret is even harder.
Never say u love me if u dont really care,
Never talk about feelings if they aren't really thea,
Never hold my hands if u really gonna break my heart,
Never say u r going to if u dun plan to start,
Never look into my eyes if u r going to lie,
Never say Hi if u really mean GoodBye,
If u really mean foever, Then say u wil try,
Never say forever coz forever makes me cRy.
